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Approach Anxiety
Hey you guys, what's up? What's happenin? What's new? What's goin on?
I know how difficult approach anxiety can be and is. It's something that nearly everyone is afraid of, even people who talk to strangers everyday and approach and interact with 10-25 new people everyday still worry about.
This thread should be a medium for discussion on different techniques, ideologies, and mindsets to have before/during approaches.
I'll start with a simple technique I like to use and I'll add more as the thread goes.
Something I do when approaching – especially a particularly attractive woman – is imagine and picture my subject in their past and future self, as opposed to how they look now. They used to be a 7-year old child in pure freedom, care-free, and wonderment of the world. One day they will be somebody's grandparent with wrinkled skin and white hair. Once you see them in this light as opposed to their current intimidating or beautiful self, it will change your mindset to the point that may make approaching them with a smile painless and extremely rewarding.
- Jarek
I know how difficult approach anxiety can be and is. It's something that nearly everyone is afraid of, even people who talk to strangers everyday and approach and interact with 10-25 new people everyday still worry about.
This thread should be a medium for discussion on different techniques, ideologies, and mindsets to have before/during approaches.
I'll start with a simple technique I like to use and I'll add more as the thread goes.
Something I do when approaching – especially a particularly attractive woman – is imagine and picture my subject in their past and future self, as opposed to how they look now. They used to be a 7-year old child in pure freedom, care-free, and wonderment of the world. One day they will be somebody's grandparent with wrinkled skin and white hair. Once you see them in this light as opposed to their current intimidating or beautiful self, it will change your mindset to the point that may make approaching them with a smile painless and extremely rewarding.
- Jarek
I share another mindset/idea to have in this video, in more detail. Essentially the idea is, the first thing you ever say to ANYONE you ever meet in your life, is completely irrelevant...
So don't worry about what you say, or what the right thing to say is, anything like that – because your spectator/subject/target is not going to remember it. It can be as simple as, "Hey, what's up?"
Again, I'll post more ideas as the thread grows. Please share your experiences of the feelings you've had when approaching someone, whether related to magic and you performing a trick or not. We're here to grow as a community of people just as much as grow as magicians. So please, share a story of a time when you were nervous, anxious, worried, excited, confident to approach and interact with a stranger for the first time, regardless of the outcome of the story. We need to learn the lessons to our mistakes!
Other than that, enjoy the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9UqFwgCrqs
So don't worry about what you say, or what the right thing to say is, anything like that – because your spectator/subject/target is not going to remember it. It can be as simple as, "Hey, what's up?"
Again, I'll post more ideas as the thread grows. Please share your experiences of the feelings you've had when approaching someone, whether related to magic and you performing a trick or not. We're here to grow as a community of people just as much as grow as magicians. So please, share a story of a time when you were nervous, anxious, worried, excited, confident to approach and interact with a stranger for the first time, regardless of the outcome of the story. We need to learn the lessons to our mistakes!
Other than that, enjoy the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9UqFwgCrqs
Great thoughts Jarek :)
Another thing to keep in mind (imo), is that EVERY person you perform to doesn't HAVE to become your new best friend or anything. Sometimes, you just want to go out and get some reps in, get some practice with a certain trick, work on your presentation skills, etc. If that's the case, who cares what they think of you! I've gone in and totally messed everything up, didn't speak very smoothly, messed up my trick, had awkward silences, and then just kinda walked away .... And then I never had to see them again! It's a no-lose situation, worst case scenario you just walk away and there's no harm done. Then I tried again on the next person, and it was great, everything went perfectly!
If you're looking to make friends when you approach someone then it becomes a little bit more complicated, but not every magical interaction has to be like that :)
Another thing to keep in mind (imo), is that EVERY person you perform to doesn't HAVE to become your new best friend or anything. Sometimes, you just want to go out and get some reps in, get some practice with a certain trick, work on your presentation skills, etc. If that's the case, who cares what they think of you! I've gone in and totally messed everything up, didn't speak very smoothly, messed up my trick, had awkward silences, and then just kinda walked away .... And then I never had to see them again! It's a no-lose situation, worst case scenario you just walk away and there's no harm done. Then I tried again on the next person, and it was great, everything went perfectly!
If you're looking to make friends when you approach someone then it becomes a little bit more complicated, but not every magical interaction has to be like that :)